//Confessions .

48, Everyday is a challenge .

2012-02-10T04:17:00.000-08:00

Hello readers, its finally Friday . So, of course I get to use the internet . Now, for the past few days I've been really down . It all started after school started, the first day of school was fine but when I was trying to go to bed, the thought of how screwed up ( sad ) my life is just brought me to tears . As usual, my eyes started to fill with tears as everything got blur-ish and with a blink of an eye, literally.. tears came down my cheeks . After a few minutes, I got tired and decided to sleep but before that, I went to the bathroom to wipe all those tears of my face when.. I saw myself in the mirror.. I couldn't believe how swallen my eyes were .

It was shocking, really . I never would have guessed that, I could feel so much pain . So much . As another day went by, it was normal . I seemed average in school but when it came to sleeping time, it happened again.. more tears and to make things worse, I wasn't feeling to good . I've been coughing for almost a week and it hasn't cured . I'm losing my voice . By today, my throat got worse . My voice would just break off while I was talking . Its like going through puberty or something . -,-"

Well, the point of this post is . Everyday has been a challenge since school started, which was this Wednesday . First of, I have a friend who lies to not only me but everyone majority of the time . It really hurts to see that someone would do such a thing . I have heard a lot of things about this particular person, on how anonymous ( I will not mention names ) would treat my friends when I'm gone . So now you're two-faced ? C'mon, I had enough and there will be one fine day where I blurt everything to your-damn-face . I'm warning you, anonymous. If it happens, don't blame me . Blame it on yourself for being dishonest with not only me but others as well .

Second, the boyfiee is away at boarding school . Usually at times like this, I would always go to Him . He always knows how to cheer me up . But since he's not here and will only be coming back in a few weeks, I have no one to talk to . Well, I do have people to talk to but the thing is, he knows anonymous too and he knows what I've been going through . To me, he's the only one who I can talk to right now, other than my other close friends who I don't see that often .

I just want to move on to the holidays so badly . I don't want to go to school, I want to just lay in bed and wait for the people & things that makes me happy the most . If I could make one wish, I would wish he didn't have to move to boarding school . The rest, I can handle from there on wards .

That's all I have to say, now I need to go take a fresh and relaxing bath . ( you guys didn't need to know that huh ? ) *sigh* Goodbye .

47, He makes me smile .

2012-01-27T22:07:00.000-08:00

I already miss that sweet smile and that voice of His . Hehe . So yesterday was the last day I got to hang out with Him before he returns to Boarding School but it wasn't long . I didn't mind because I guess he wanted to go see his friends ? Mhm . But at the end of the day, no matter where he is.. I'm still gonna miss Him . Near or far . Its always been like that . I love that guy . ♥

Oh yeah, you know what ? I read his blog yesterday and dang ! Was it the sweetest thing ever ? I can't tell you what he wrote though . Hehe . I keep reading it over and over again . It just makes me so happy . I also have some other good news, He told me that he might come back next week ! Isn't that just awesome !? Well, for me that is.. :D

Dear ! If you're reading this then here's something for you !

Thank you for being in my life . I'm truly thankful for that . I know at times I can be difficult and I let you down alot but I can't help it . I'm not sure why . I guess you should already know that I'm the type who messes up all the time, but that's just who I am . Everyday for me is like going through a battle field with loads of obsticles and people trying to shoot me down . Yeah, I've been having a pretty rough time since you've gone to Boarding School . I would always say, when is this week going to be over ? Because I could never wait to see you . Like last week, I was struggling in school . A few of the people around me have noticed it too . But when the day came that I knew I had the chance to meet you, I was so flipping happy . I don't want you too feel guilty yeah ? You dont need to .

I will always be forgiving you, no matter what . Loving you till the end . Alright ? :)
Love you ! :D

--
and thats the end of this post today, thanks for reading !

46, I found my answer !

2012-01-24T20:35:00.000-08:00

Hello world and all that comes with it ! Remember the post yesterday ? About how I hate my life . Yeah, its kind of a no brainer . As in, its pretty confusing from being happy to being that negative person . So much hate there . Yeah, so yesterday someone told me that im complicated ? Since then i've been asking my friends this question, " have I changed ? " and majority of them said I have . Then today, i asked a close friend of mine, she sits beside me in class and I asked her the same question and like all of them, she said yes . Then I asked her, since when did I change ? She replied, since last week and then it hit me !

Before I asked her, I went to a friend for advice . She's pretty wise . Then, she gave me answer like, " maybe its because your love one is not in the same school and you takde semangat " . Well, what she said is true . Except for the school part because i didn't mind if he wasn't in the same school, he just isn't in the area anymore . Since he moved out last week, its been pretty rough . Sekarang baru aku sedar . Huh .

I'm not saying its his fault but i think i'm just not quite use to it . I act like everything is ok but the one's who are closest to me can see that its not . Now I know ! Atlast I got my answer and it was that fast !

To him,

About the text message yesterday, forget about it, delete it . Its irrelevant to what i was trying to say . Just forget i said anything .

Before I go just wanted to thank the people who were honest with me !
Go visit their blog : Angel , Dayana . There are more but they don't have a blog . Ahah .
K thanks for reading . Peace !

45, I hate my sad life .

2012-01-24T02:34:00.000-08:00

heyy, k today is the day where I say that, I HATE MY SAD LIFE . I hate everything about it ! I hate being alone, I hate being lied to, I hate being made fun of, I hate being the one who gets left behind . Theres so many things ! This maybe suprising to some people that may see me as a bubbly person but deep-down inside, I'm dying . I know there are probably tons of other people who have a more worse life than me, Its just that at times I really can't take it . I really can't .

Yeah, I know I cry alot . So what ? You people have no right to get down on me because of that . You guys have no Idea what its like being me . I get misunderstood alot, I rarely get to be myself and I don't always have the time to reflect on myself because half of the time, i'm helping others with their life problems . Its not easy .

Everything is just bringing me down lately, I have no idea why . I try to be good, but I fail . I try not to dissapoint, yet I fail again . I'm trying but it never seems to work . Is it even worth it ? Is it worth trying anymore ? Hm, fuck the universe . Kbye .

Thanks for reading, peace .

44, Celebrations & the flu .

2012-01-23T06:46:00.000-08:00

Happy Chinese New Year to all ! :)
Speaking of today, I think my luck just ran out . Why ? I'm stuck with a cold, flu, watery eyes and i've been coughing a lot . Luckily I took le medicine, feeling much better now . I'm guessing i'll turn back to my sick self in about 10 minutes . -,-"

Being sick sucks . Especially when you're having a cold or flu because you'll be constantly sneezing all the time and believe me, it gets worse every time . Well, enough of me being sick . Lets move on to the Chinese New Year holidays !

As a chinese, I have experienced loads of stuff during chinese new year . I've gotten ang pau's, ate lots of yummy food and not to forget the " yi sang " <-- its for making wishes . Its also a tradition in my family and others . Chinese new year is practically like christmas but instead of getting presents, you get red envelopes called Ang pau's . Though, only married people can give away ang pau's . Why ? I have no idea .

So yesterday the family and I were celebrating chinese new year at my uncles house at Taman melawati, KL . Wait, was it in KL ? Oh, nevermind . Yeah, we celebrated by having a bbq there . Reached the house at about 4.30 and we straight away began the whole " ceremony " is that what its called ? Hm, oh well . Then the dissapointing happened.. it started to rain . Had to rush everything and find " shelter " . Haha . Infact, most of us got wet, including me.. OH WAIT . I THINK NOW I KNOW WHY IM SICK ! Holy cow ! Now that my friend, just sucks . -,-

Grr, stupid flu.. *sigh* I guess thats it from me . Bye ! Thanks for reading ! :)

43, Happy again .

2012-01-21T04:12:00.000-08:00

Hello ! Okay, so before I start talking about my day . I want to just ask you guys.. Did you or Did you NOT, watch the video about the long-distance relationship ? If not, then you're lost because it was the sweetest thing i've ever seen in this week so far . To the people who actually read this lonesome blog . You would know I have already wrote a post about it . It's just that I want everyone to watch it so that they too ( for all those people out there ) can have an awesome relationship like them . It all takes patience .

Ok, now i'm done with talking about that video . Its time to talk about my day . Today was a really happy day for me . Why ? Its because I finally get to see le boyfiee after a week . A week to you guys may seem like a few seconds but to me its like a year and do you know what I hate the most ? I hate it when people say, time passes really fast, a month, a year, 2 weeks ain't nothing.. with a blink of an eye- OH STOP IT . Damn you ! I hate it when people tell me that crap . I mean, don't you know how it feels to miss someone so badly that time seems to just get slower and slower ? Its just sad ok ! Sorry for the rage, that part right there just made me wee-bit frustrated . But, im ok now . :)

Moving on, oh wait ! Before that, if I seem to be off topic here then I'm really sorry because I'm watching the long-distance relay video, AGAIN . Ok, ok , ok.. where was I again ? Oh yeah, um, today was a really good day fer me because kekasihku sudah balik and I got to meet him today . So now, i'm just gonna do what I always do, tell it like it is.. Here we go !

Today, I met him at the usual place which was the empty shop lot . When I saw him walking towards where I was sitting, I smiled . Inside, I was jumping up and down just by looking at His face . Then he sat beside me and we talked and talked about school . Its a pity that the school over there seems to suck . I'm soo lucky my parents don't allow me to go to boarding school , thumbs up fer that ! Then as time past, silence began to approach . We literally had nothing to say, but to me just Him being there beside me was the best feeling ever . After awhile, he asked me, " would you like if I not come back for a year ? " and I just paused for a second and said, " no.. no.. " . Suddenly out of no where, my eyes started to fill with tears, just the thought of Him not coming back here for A YEAR is just unacceptable . I wanted to just let it all go but I held it in though I was already crying inside . I couldn't even look at Him, if I did.. the tears would be already falling down my cheeks , ~~go figure~~ .
So then, he comforted me and made me smile by saying some stuff . Haha, that guy seriously is just.. awesome . I missed Him so much ! His hugs and kisses, everything ! I guess, I really was happy when he told me he was home . *sigh* those were the days huh ? ~~LOL, padahal baru semalam !~~ Yeah, I guess thats it . I know its short but the rest I wanna keep to myself . Tak salah kan ? Ehehe .

Thanks for reading ! Bye-2 ! :)
P.s, I don't always cry ! -,-"

42, Blog walking .

2012-01-20T02:45:00.000-08:00

Hello again . The topic of the moment is, blog walking . What is blog walking ? Blog walking is, visiting other peoples blog . You know, " blog ".. " walking " ? K, done with explanation . If you don't understand then look it up . Now, back to what I was saying.. blog walking is real fun . I love reading other peoples post's . Its just so interesting at times . But at the same time, when someone blogs about something, it can hurt you're feelings too . I'm not trying to say anything but I know how it feels . Its like going through an emotional state of mind or something .

I remember when... ehhhh . Wait, no flash backs ! Don't want to get into the past . The past to me is painful but sometimes it can be very happy . You know what I mean ? So, I hope you can understand why I don't want to get into the past anymore . K done with that .

Ok, now about the ACTUAL purpose of this post . Just recently, about 5 minutes ago.. I was blog walking well, I was just going through my blogger feed and I spotted this blog so I clicked it and then I went to look at some of that blog's older post's . Wahh, when I read some of the post's ade yang buat aku sakit hati, ade yang buat aku jealous ( a little bit ) P.s, im not the jealous type though, and ade yang buat aku macam, teringin sangat nak baca post-2 yang lain . Hm, so yeah..

I'm not going to say any names or refer to anyone its just that I wanted to luahkan everything I'm feeling at this particular moment and I guess I'm done here . Done with expressing my feelings . Ok, bye . Thanks for reading ! :))

Btw, this post makes no sense what so ever BUT if you seem to understand then you're awesome . Kbai .

41, Cuti ! :)

2012-01-19T22:21:00.000-08:00

Hey guys ! Oh gosh, Chinese New Year holidays are here ! Yay, time for money ! Muahahaha . >:) But at the end of the day, I'm most excited because he's coming back here ! Eeee, can't wait ! His brother told me that he might come back tomorrow but If can, today lagi best ! Cause I have nothing to do other than missing Him like gila-2 ! Hee .

I can't wait for the holidays to begin ! I have been planning so many things in my head ! My waiting days are over ! For now, atleast . But now, I have something to look forward to, everyday for the rest of the week . *sigh* I feel so breathless and so happy .

I guess, i'll go . Bye-2 !
Thanks for reading ! :))

40, Patience .

2012-01-18T22:49:00.000-08:00

Bonjour all . Okay, so there's something I wanna talk about and its this video I just watched . Its dang sweet weih . Its about this couple that has never met before, it all started by a comment and the closest to seeing each other was just skyping . They've been together for 2 years and then one day on Christmas i think, they finally got the chance to meet each other . Oh and by the way, the guy is from Singapore and the girl is from Sweeden . So just imagine how far they are and look at them now, still happy . Damn it, all of you MUST watch this video ! Its too sweet ! :')

here's the link : CLICK IT .

*sighh* See ? Why can't I be patient ? He's not even that far away but atleast they have skype right ? I have nothing, no contact . Hmm, sayang, please come home quick yeah ? I'm waiting here ! I'm waiting for you everyday.. sometimes with tears in my eyes . I get so jealous of other couples because they get to be with each other everyday, at school, at the mall, everywhere . :(

Haihh.. my life is a sad, sad story now days . :/
You people should know why . If not, then don't ask . Okay, I'm done here . Bye .
Thanks for reading !

39, I miss you like crazy .

2012-01-18T05:35:00.000-08:00

Bonjour all , oh geeez ! I miss Him so much ! I'm constantly thinking about Him, day or night . Its like everywhere I go, no matter what place . In school, at home, in bed.. anywhere ! Its like the thought of Him is never gone ! Sometimes when I think about the things we've been through, it just makes me wanna cry . But I hold it in 'cause I know he wouldn't want me to cry, right ?

Oh and btw, the picture above reminded me of Him so I decided to make a post about it . hehe . I'm so clever . ~~Ecehhh, berlagak nampak ?~~ Ehem-2 . Anyways, why can't time pass anymore faster ?! I want him home so badly ! Seriously the first thing i'm gonna do when I see Him, well, Imma give him a hug ! I miss him so much and normally my phone would be ringing but now.. its like the cricket noise.. you know ? Ahaha .

*sigh* I can't control this feeling ! If I had a car and a liscence, I would be already on my way there . I dont care how long it takes or how long I get to see his face, I just want to hear his voice . I need it . I really do..

Anyways, i think i'll go now . Have school tomorrow . :/
kthnksbai !

38, First day without you here .

2012-01-17T02:41:00.000-08:00

So, how's it going for everyone ? Haven't been updating in awhile . I guess I was busy with school, cehh but then got time for fb ? *cough* Anyways, today is the day that my special someone is starting a new school life over at KL . Yeah, its not that far from here but the thing is, I won't get to see him as often as before . I know sometimes I can be difficult when its time to hangout but its my parents you see . Not trying to blame them for anything either, they're just cautious and we all have boundaries .

Today, school was okay but the thought that you're not here anymore just made me feel so empty . I almost cried when le bestie told me something you said . Its not easy anymore . I mean before this, I didn't mind if you weren't in the same school as me . Its because I know you're still here, as in around the area . But now ? Since I know that you're gone.. My life sucks . I promised you I wouldn't be sad when you go and I kept that promise, I smiled the whole day, laughing and etc . See ? I can keep my promise and starting from today, I will . But then.. when I came back home, I ran into my room and looked at my phone . You sent me two text messages . Sayang the second one made me cry . I'm sorry, but it wasn't because I was sad or anything but it's just that I miss you and I don't want you to go..

From now on, since you're not here I'll do my very best to take care of myself . I'll learn how to cook, I'll be more hardworking, I wont disrespect my parents and etc . That's what you want right sayang ? Yeahh, guessed as much . Please hurry and come back . I really want to see you ! :(

Well, that's all for now . Will write later .
Kthnksbai .

37, Goodbye ! Gonna miss you guys !

2012-01-11T01:47:00.000-08:00

Hello ! Ok, so the topic today is kinda sad . Starting next week I won't get to see a few of my friends anymore not to forget Him . So I'm guessing this is the last week that they'll be here . So here are a few things I want to say to my friends .

Him,
Hey budak ! Tau la nak sekolah kat KL kan ? Kalau kat sane jangan nakal-2 ! Maksudnya, takleh main ponteng-2 dah ! Kena study betul-2 tau ! Hish, I'm gonna miss you . I'm going to miss hanging out with you, I'm gonna miss telling you about my day and all the things that are happening . *sigh.. goodbye superman ! I'll miss you and don't forget, atleast try to come back during the weekends k ? Also, I'll promise you here, I won't be sad when you leave, that what you want right ? Hmm.. bye dear ! :(

Who else ? o,o
LOL, i think thats it . Hahah, to others who I didn't mention.. sorry . But, hope you guys have a good life ! Study hard ! Don't let your parents down !

ok, thanks for reading !

Bye ! ;)

36, My very own chamber of secrets . [ private diary ]

2012-01-09T02:24:00.000-08:00

click to enlarge :)

Once again, hello my dear stalkers ! Before I start, from now on my blog post's wont be JUST English . k ? I rather do it Bahasa Rojak style, wahahah . Ok, moving on.. nampak tak gambar kat atas tu ? Yes, its my blog , BUT, this is also private and its called a Private diary . Hee . So hanya aku je boleh bukak . Korang, takleh . Unless I invite lah, but not gonna do that because, hello ? This is private la . Since majority of the things I want to write are secret- wait, not secret la just taknak orang tau . Yeah, since its like that, I made a private blog so that I can luahkan everything there ! Names are mentioned, no hiding ! Haa, so kebanyakan boyfie punya nama ade kat sana . Haha . Biasa la kan ?

Omg, this chocolate is soo good ~ Oops, im off topic again ! -,-" Hmm, oh yeah, here's a message to my sayang, Superman !

Hey superman ! If you're reading this, nampak tak gambar tuh ? Its my diary ! You're name and everything is in it ! Muahaha, nak tengok tak ? Nak ? Eh, mane boleh ? Haha, nanti you marah . Anyways, as you always tell me, Study smart ! and jangan nakal-2 ! Okay ? Love you ! Hee . :)

At last, I have finally completed a post . haha . Apa yang aku merepek nieh ? Hm, k lah . Papai ! :)

35, Form 2 life

2012-01-09T01:21:00.000-08:00

Bonjour ! Ok so, today I'm going to talk about my current form 2 life . First off I want to start by saying, I hate it ! I HATE being form 2 ! Why ? Studies getting harder, next year PMR & etc . Yeah, I'm negative so what ? My choice la kan ? Moving on.. for the past few days, school has been ok . I feel like i'm back home, but the thing is.. everything has changed . As I said in my past post's, all the form 3's of 2011 has moved on to form 4 and when they're form 4, girl.. you don't get to see them often . Mhm..

I don't have a problem with them moving on its just, I miss the good times when me and my friends would stay back after school and just lepak at the bus stop . I miss those times, they were fun . Hmm, really lah . Miss it . hewhew . :'(

Okayla, wanted to make this a long post but I don't have the mood right now, I'm just gonna go skate with my de lovely skateboard . Kbai .

34, School started .

2012-01-05T03:24:00.000-08:00

Bonjour all ! Its been a a few days since I've updated this blog, right ? Oh well, its because school has just started and I guess everyone is starting to get busy . So, school this year is not much of a change . 2% of my class teachers are the same as last year ( bummer ) . *sigh* Atleast most of the teachers are understandable, I mean, I finally understand Math ! I never understood it last year but I do now . :D

OK, ok, moving on to something else.. Oh yeah ! Do you guys like recess ? Well i don't, not anymore ! Its like, the canteen is so crowded these days ! Damn, sad ! I miss the form 3 of 2011, too bad they moved to form 4 and we don't get to have recess with them anymore . Most of my friends are form 4 now, and we barely see each other ! *haihh . such a sad case .

I can't believe I'm already form 2 ! Next year will be a victim of the evil PMR . huwaaaa ! :'(
I don't like studying my butt off ! I never liked it and since that I might have a 50-50 chance of staying in the top 2 classes, they're gonna push me to the edge ! I bet my brain will explode ! You know, just by thinking about it, I feel so.. caged in . T^T Have to enjoy my freedom while I can, or else.. *kiok ! hahahaha .

Uhm, I think I wanna go write in my diary now . ( its private, kekeke ) Bubye ! :)

33, Last day of 2011

2011-12-31T00:10:00.000-08:00

Bonjour ! You know, I've always wondered why I start my post's with a " bonjour ! ". Maybe its because I like the French language ? Ok, ok . Out of topic ! So today is the last day of 2011 ! Boy, oh, boy have I learnt alot this year ! I learnt a few lessons of life and had so many good memories with friends and loved ones . Its seriously really sad to see it all pass by so quickly .

I don't want to move on to 2012, I'm afraid . Afraid of whats to come . Does that even make sense ? Its just scary to see majority of people around you are moving to new schools, leaving, and more . What if I don't see them ever again ! I had so many memories with them and I don't even get a chance to say goodbye ?! NO, I won't allow it ! D:

I don't like people leaving, its just so sad and depressing to see someone leave . I know they have reasons of leaving but why so soon ? Why ? :(

K lah, im gonna play some games or eat my head off I guess . Thanks for reading, bye .

32, I don't wanna start next year ! :'(

2011-12-29T20:50:00.000-08:00

Bonjour all . Today's topic will be about going into the year 2012 . To me the year 2012 is gonna suck, yeah I know I'm not being positive and I should but I'm not gonna try because so many things are happening next year .

Turning fourteen .
Superman will be going to boarding school to God knows where // hope its not far away :'(
World might end
Study's going to be super hard // that's what people tell me
etc..

See ! Alot ! Huwaaaaa ! :'(
The saddest part of what I've just listed is the second one ! Grr, geram ! I wish I could hate you but I can't ! YOU, im going to cry if you move far away from here and I'm never gonna forgive you for that, huh ! :(

I know now, that you guys may be thinking, " eyhhh, for his education la ! " "eyhhh, don't be so selfish ". But lemme tell you, I know, I know and I'm not selfish ! uhh, maybe I am ? :(

Anyways, that all I have to say about next year.. but if everything turns out fine and not like what I said it would be then.. I'll go up a hill and scream I was wrong, plus I will also record the whole thing ( the journey up and everything ). If you want to see it then I'll post it, here . No where else.. BUT, that's if I was wrong about the year 2012, if not then tak jadi laaaa . :))

kbye !

31, Old horror movies .

2011-12-22T21:31:00.000-08:00

Hello all ! Long time no update ! Anyways, currently watching this old horror movie called, " Poltergeist II : The other side ". This horror movie is totally not scary, but its kinda interesting . I watched the first Poltergeist movie and my first impression was, " its not scary.. x) ". Can't wait to watch the third movie which is just right after this one . hehe !

Is it me or am I the only one realizing that their not show casing any christmas movie's this year ? I mean, its two more days till Christmas and no movies ? What happened ? I mean, they did show case a few but it wasn't as much as the old days . :/

Hmm, yeahh . Thats pretty much it for today ! Sorry for the short and lame post ! Its not my best . :/
Happy holidays ! :)

30, I miss you love !

2011-12-19T08:01:00.000-08:00

Bonjour and heyy earthlings ! Uhm, so my I have nothing much to talk about . Today was pretty boring . All I did was follow my parents to go get grocery's, surf the internet and last but not least, MISS THE FUDGE OUTTA HIM . :(

I miss that guy ! He's at Port Dickson with his family, enjoying they're holidays ! Unlike me and some other people out there who are staying at home . What's the point of a holiday when I don't even get to go out ? Just a waste of time . -,-"

Hmm, i miss the sandy beaches . My dad say's we might go for vacation next year on Chinese New Year holidays . Wouldn't it be cool if both our family's went on a vacation ? That would be totally awesome ! Haha ! But I guess I'll have to dream on since it wont happen . Or will it ?

Uhm.. that's it I guess, just wanted to update my blog . Thats all .
Goodnight world ! Thanks for reading ! :)

29, Horror movie's and such

2011-12-18T07:08:00.000-08:00

Hey everyone ! Currently watching this horror movie called, " The new daughter ". Man, oh, man, its creepy sial ! Its so suspicious ! I just want someone to hug me and comfort me through this whole movie . :'(
I don't usually watch horror movie's but I decided to watch this one since the trailer was pretty interesting . Now I kinda regret watching it but I can't help to find out what will happen next .

Enough of horror movie's, now for reality, my life . Today, i wanted to see him but t didn't work out because he was with his friends in town . I didn't want to disturb him . Guess what ? Tomorrow he's going to P.D ! So unfair ! I can't even go anywhere and I miss the sandy beach's, they just make me so relaxed that I wish I could stay there forever without caring about the world . But in reality, I can't stay or go anywhere . All together, my holidays suck this year ! Hopefully 2012 is better . Anyways, I'm going to miss that guy . Which brings me to another subject .

I am a person who is not that open to people . When I feel I can trust the person then I'll open up to them . Like my bestie and boyfiee . I trust them with my soul . But sometimes I don't show my feelings because I'm not very good at it . I guess it's not my fault . I don't know how . :(

To Him,

Hey, i know i might not show how much I miss you . But inside, I really do miss you dear ! Every night, before I sleep I think about the memories we had . The good ol' memories . I apologize if you don't understand me but that's how I am . I am quite difficult and for that, I apologize once more . Love you dear, I hope you have a safe journey ! Hope you enjoy you're vacation . Love you dear, I'll miss you ! :'(
I wish you were here with me while I watch this horror movie . I'm scared . :'(

thanks for reading ! Night . ♥

28, Anything can happen

2011-12-17T03:02:00.000-08:00

Why oh why must it rain ? The second it rains, my plans are ruined, like what the fudge . Then at the end of the day, who's the one to blame for making another person pissed off ? Me, its always ME . *haiyaaaaaa* Malas dohh kalau macam niehh . Its like, the world is asking me to stay at home . RAIN, Y U RUIN MY DAY ?! Luckily i know how to be patient . -,-"

Enough of my day, lets talk about something that everyone is waiting for and that thing is CHRISTMAS ! I feel so semangat by just listening to the sound of the christmas songs . *sigh* It's practically the most awesome time of the year and It just makes me so happy ! *squirms* I can't wait ! Hehe !

That's all for today I guess . One more thing before I leave,

Dear ! I'm so sorry for letting you down ! Please forgive me ! :'(

and that's all for now . Hope you guys have a better holiday than mine ! Bye ! :)

27, Today was.. bolehla ~

2011-12-16T06:01:00.000-08:00

Hello earthlings ! Today is a new day, where the past is the past and the future is the unknown . Finally kept my word , as in I finally did it . I finally left the past and moved on to the future . I'm so proud of myself, haha .
Enough of that, I'm so distracted by the tv . -,- Its freaking annoying, i think I have a short attention span..yeahhhh .

The weather today officially sucked . It rained dammit ! If it rains then I can't skate ! I need my daily skating ! Huwaaaa ;( Maybe it won't rain tomorrow ? We'll see . If it does then I'm seriously going to play in the rain, not joking . Anyone wanna join me ? Then come to my house ! ( only for those who know where my house is :B )

Okay, ok . I'm tired of talking about my bummed out day . I wanna watch, America's next top model 17 . :P
Yehh, models are cool .

26, Time to forget the past, be happy and move on..

2011-12-14T22:00:00.000-08:00

Let me start to say, dear if you're reading this then here is the whole explanation to everything .

I'm sorry for all the drama . Its just that I'm so mad at myself that I put it all on you . I shouldn't have done that and i'm truly regretful for it . Yesterday, you gave me something to think about . When you asked me, " why can't we just be happy ? " and " Why do you like to stress yourself ? ". I was just speechless and I didn't know what to think or say . I know saying sorry isn't enough .

I know you're mad, I don't blame you . Who wouldn't be mad after going through such drama that seems so worthless . It doesn't even make any sense . So, now . I'm here to say that I'm just going to forget the past, be happy and move on to whatever that awaits us in the future . I don't want to give up on this relationship but I can't be selfish so, if you're done then I guess that's it . So, before you do anything, think about it and when you made up you're mind then call me or something .

Bye, love you . ♥

25, What makes me wonder .

2011-12-14T04:57:00.000-08:00

So, i've been thinking about many things lately but seriously I don't wanna talk to anyone . Can I ask you something ? Can a person love two people at the same time other than you're parents . ( you know what i mean ) No maybe's allowed or I'll beat the shit outta you . Now answer me, yes or no ? Ex. If i love two guys at a time, that would just be wrong am I right ? But, I would never do that, its either you love one person or just don't love at all .

Sometimes I may or may not have taken relationships too seriously but then what should I do ? I'm already born this way, you can't change a person just like that . It just won't work, it never does . I hate to be the person to say this but, why must I always be the one in the middle ? The thing about me is I don't like hurting people and most of the time I never have happy endings . I do believe in them though .

I don't want to cry anymore ! I don't ! I'm sick and tired of crying for something that seems worthless to others ! I'm going to put my foot down and say it all here, I want to apologize to my dearest friend . If you're reading this then, I'm sorry if caused any problems or hurt you . I didn't even know until now . I'm truly sorry .
I read you're blog and it just makes me feel so guilty . I'm sorry ! :(

One more thing, here's a thing or two about friends . Friends they can come and go but the bestie's are the ones you want to keep . Bestie's are more important than a relationship partner, trust me I know . Why ? Because the second you're relationship partner leave's you, who will you turn to ? Takkan you're parents ? But you're bestie, am I right ? They will try to comfort you no matter what pain they're in, because they care about you . They love you like you're apart of their life . They'd catch a grenade for ya' ( getting cheesy, sorry ) Anyways, so please don't let them down . If they ask you for a favor try to full-fill it . If you can't or if you have other plans then tell them ! Its better than lying ! I'm sure they'll understand .

Yeah, I know I'm not the one to tell You what to do, but its true facts i'm talking about here . Listen or not, I don't care . You're life, not mine .
kbai .

24, My life be like .

2011-12-13T23:15:00.000-08:00

Bonjour ! Ahah, i'm in a much better mood now . ~~Pst ! I deleted last night's post so yeah .~~ So, how's everyone doing ? Fine you say ? Good to hear . For those who ain't so fine, chill . Everything's gonna be alright .

Okay, so.. Still pretty confused here but not as emotional as yesterday . Man oh man, was I tearing up like a waterfall yesterday ! My cheeks were wet and my eyes couldn't stop watering . I wanted to stop but, tell that to my eyes ! # true story

As I look back, its kinda funny . I love looking back at things and just laughing my guts out . It reminds me how stupid I was to have done such things like that . I'm a teenager so stuff happens .

Anyways, I'm so distracted right now that I forgot what to write . # failure .
I love hash tagging ! :D
Thanks for reading ! Will write later ~

23, Hate to dissapoint .

2011-12-12T00:33:00.000-08:00

//Bonjour . You know what ? I have a problem . Its about a girl, her name is Bernadette . She's 13 and we're pretty close . She gets misunderstood alot by others . Now, to the point of this whole post . My problem is, she dissapoints me, she does things that I don't want her to do like cry herself to sleep . She says that she cries because she can't take the pressure but what pressure to be exact ? You know what I think ? She just wants to be heard, all she wants is to be free and happy again . Nothing much .

Sometimes, you never know whats behind that smile of hers . You'll never know if she's hurting or if she's just dying inside . She always asks me, "why ? Why do I dissapoint ? Why do people expect so much from me ? Why me ?.." and the questions never end, it just goes on and on . All I can say is, I don't know . ( I'm the type who doesn't have much answers )

*sigh* Why am I even writing this ? No one cares and its depressing . Guess I'll end it here . Bye, thanks for reading . Hope you have a good life .

22, This guy of mine .

2011-12-11T10:12:00.000-08:00

I'm back again, haha . Yeah, I said I was sleepy but then suddenly " somebody " asked me to go online and I just couldn't refuse ! Miss the guy too much ! So, this post is mainly about, Him . You jelly ? Oh, sorry . I didn't make this blog to please you so please exit if you will . :) Well, I just found out that He has a blog . ( I can't believe I didn't know about it ! ) The first time I saw his blog, I was pretty impressed and I giggled a-bit as I read a few of His past entries . Then he asked me to edit His blog, ( noobie :P ) and I did . I love editing . The final product turned out pretty well and simple after like 2 hours of editing . I didn't mind though .

As some of you know, this guy of mine is really sweet . I'm suprised that he actually wrote he flipping post, about me ! With the my picture and all . ( not here to brag tho . so chill babe ) So this is for him,

Hey, thanks for the post and everything . I really appreciate it ! Hehe, I even online because of you . Don't feel bad because I don't mind it at all . :) I love chatting with you, haha ! Love ya hun ! Stay happy and always smile !

that's pretty much it, nothing much . Goodnight world !

21, Getting sleepy .

2011-12-11T09:17:00.000-08:00

*yawns* Bonjour . Adeii, ngantok seyhh . I feel like I could just close my eyes and rest my head on mr.lappy ( my laptop ). Yes, my laptop has a name and its name is Mr. Lappy . Woah, just realized that it's already 1.12 a.m. no wonder i'm sleepy . But, can't sleep alone its too dark in here and it gets scary . I need to hear something soothing like the sound of someones voice or perhaps some music .

The thing is, I got nothing to write today since I really didn't do that much . Just sat at home, eyes concentrated on the screen and surfing through the boring internet . I don't want to but facebook is like calling me, " come to me, waste you're time here.. ". Am I the only one who feels like this ?

So, uhm . Got nothing much to say so, goodnight world !
Gahh, hey you ! Call me if you read this... oh wait, kredit kamu dah habis kan ? Adess.. -,-"
I need to hear you're voice ! :(

20, Just shoot me .

2011-12-10T06:52:00.000-08:00

Bonjour ! So today, I planned to have an awesome day . But guess how it turned out ? It was okay ~ But not as awesome as I wanted it to be . Anyways, I was suppose to go skating with a friend of mind at the nearby golf club, and I did . It was a hot day and we couldn't skate much since the tennis court had no shade.. # lame .
Now, to the part where the title says it all.. Can someone please shoot me ?! Yeah, I give up ! I feel like a total ass ! Why ? Because, we're not as close as the last time . ( me and Him ) When we call each other, the conversation would be sooo awkward . Its like we have nothing to say to each other . I know I'm the cause of this, and I want to make things better, but how ? :(

I suck at this, whenever i'm in a relationship, I'm always the cause of trouble . I'm the ass not them . :/
Impossible you say ? Well, maybe it isn't . Guys are not always the heart breakers . I don't know what to do ! I just, i miss the guy you know ? When I read his latest statuses on facebook, i know they're all referring to me ( well who else would be an ass like me, towards him ? )

To Him :

Hey, if you're reading this then I'm truly sorry . I'm sorry i'm not there when you need me . I'm sorry for saying the things you don't like me to say . I'm sorry for being the worse girlfriend ever ( don't deny it ) Once again, when I say i'm sorry, I mean it . I really treasure this relationship . Please don't ever think or say that I don't care about you, I DO . I always think about you, I'm always wondering how you're doing and if you miss me or not . I cry myself to sleep since you were mad at me I guess . But you seriously deserve better, someone who can take care of that heart of you'res . Love you dear and I always will . No matter what .

Note : when I blog about things, I blog about the things I feel , honestly .
Thanks for reading, night .

19, Misunderstood .

2011-12-07T09:29:00.000-08:00

Why don't people understand anymore ? Is the english or bahasa melayu language so hard to understand now days ? Whats up with society ? Why does the world hate me ? Yeah, I am just sick and tired of being misunderstood by others . I try to make myself clear but NO, its either not clear enough or they don't hear me . I mean, I am a person who says sorry a lot and when I say a lot, I really mean A LOT . But as time passes by people may think that, "why are you saying sorry for ? No need for that . Its just gonna happen again ." Wahh, sedap je kau cakap camtu kan-3 ? Listen up, I say sorry not because I " suka hati gua " but because I mean it, I wanna make things better . That's what I mean when I say SORRY .

I'm not the most perfect girl in the world but guess what ? I wasn't born to please the society that loves bringing people like me down . Even when I shed a tear, people may think, " Oh, she just wants attention." " She's faking" " She's weak" " She LOVES crying " Well, again, LISTEN UP . I cry because I cant take the pressure anymore ! I cry because someone hurt me ! I don't cry because I'm weak or because I ' LOVE ' it . I know that crying doesn't make things better but its better than cutting yourself or even suicide right ?

You see what I mean ? Society these days, brings us down . They lie to us, they hurt our feelings and they just don't give a fudge no more . I feel like I can just sit on my bed in the middle of the night and go on and on about this . Like seriously, the society pisses me off . I may be a hipocrite if I said that I've never been one of those members of the so called society , I have and I'm not proud of it .

One more thing, is it so hard to believe a person ? I mean, to me people they don't seem to trust me anymore . Like, what the fudge did I do to YOU ?! Ce citer sket ! Tell me, what-have-I-done ? Hm ? Because for everything I say, there's always a " yeah right " "i don't believe you" " i don't wanna believe you! " "whatever" and it goes on and on . Just imagine if you were in my situation , what would you feel ? Now, that's a good question eh ? So think about it ! What would you do ?

Last one, being passive . Sometimes its not what you think, when someone is quiet when you're with them . Its means either something's wrong, they're thinking about stuff like good memories or maybe they have nothing to say . Well for me, when i'm quiet it means I'm thinking about the good ol' memories I had with that person . I don't over-think that's one thing . So, whenever I'm hanging out with you, and you see me quiet as a stick . It means I'm either thinking or either I don't have anything to say and I love listening to you're stories . That's all . Simple . Not even asking much from you, actually i'm not even asking ANYTHING from you !

So that concludes my post for tonight on society . So for those people of society out there, reading this . Please if you have a heart, try to understand . Stop the misunderstanding . Its hurting others . Please .
-Bernadette // Rina .

18, Dear Santa //

2011-12-07T04:03:00.000-08:00

Bonjour ! Christmas is my favorite time of the year ! Its because, at christmas you get to celebrate it with your family . At christmas, its not about the gifts, its about being with the ones you love . That's why . Well, I think I should write santa a letter eh ? Like the old times . :)

Dear Santa,
I don't want to ask much this year . I'll try to be a good girl but Santa, all I want for Christmas is Him . Is that too much to ask for ?
- Bernadette :)

Well, I want to ask you something . Is my letter to Santa, ridiculous ? Hmm, I hope that my wish will come true :/ . Anyways, what do you want for Christmas ? If you don't celebrate it then, what would you want if you could celebrate ? ( I'm sorry if this offends anyone )

And that concludes my post today . Bye loves ! :)

17, Breaking dawn // need to watch this . :/

2011-12-06T06:35:00.000-08:00

Oke-3, lets start . Bonjour ! So as you can see from the title and picture above.. I haven't watched Breaking dawn yet . Boo-friggin-hoo ! I wanna watch it so badly ! But, if I buy the DVD or go watch it in the cinema, who's gonna watch it with me ? I'm probably guessing you're saying, " what about you're family ? " Well, to answer that, didn't you hear ? Zombie appocalypse and they ate my family . I'm the last one standing . :P
( Joking ) But seriously, leceh to watch with the family, i mean, you don't know my family . Not easy to watch movie with them . TT^TT *sob

Anyways, my friends and mr.Him are like talking about the movie so much . Jealous la weyh ! Its like, so unfair ! Most of my friends watched the movie when it first came out . I feel like this right now ( look below )

Yeahh.. forever alone . *sigh* So, anyone wanna join me ? Huh ? Huh ? :D
Yes ? No ? :/
Anyways, enough of wasting time . Time to chow ! See ya !
-Rina

16, Awkward moment and he just got hacked .

2011-12-04T22:50:00.000-08:00

Wokay, so hello ! I'm here, at home . Just after eating lunch . Bored as usual . The wierdest thing just happened . So I'm a christian and I got to classes on Sunday . So, theres this guy in my class and on facebook, he just posted something on how much he loves ' porn ' *shrugs* ew ! Wait, why am i talking about it when I can just show you ? -btw, my friend here got hacked so beware of the sicko that might just hack you're account-
Here ;

( sorry but the image has been deleted my the owner of the blog . )

Can't see the image properly ? Want to get a better view ? Then click the image above to enlarge it . :)
Okay, so the post got deleted and I guess I'm the only one who has this screen print photo . # laughs

Thanks for reading ! Hee, bye ! :D

15, I almost cried .

2011-12-04T05:09:00.000-08:00

Ok, ok . So, I can't believe I forgot to write about this ! Luckily someone told me to write about it . Without wasting time, here it goes..

It started yesterday, it was about 11.44 p.m. and I decided to text Him . Then as the conversation went on He said he was not in the mood and etc . So like anyone would do, I didn't want to disturb him . The next day , I recieved a text message from Him asking if I could go out and etc . So I replied and etc, etc . After that, he said, " text me back if you can go out . I want you to tell you something myself . " Straight away I suspected something, I thought he was going to break up with me on the spot but I guess I was over-thinking .
At 4 p.m. we met at our usual place ( not the park ). Then I sat down and I asked him about what he wanted to tell me, He replied " I'll tell you later ". I was like, ok.. but inside I was so curious . After that " scene " there was just silence the whole time until he said something that i'll never forget, " I want to break up ". My heart stopped for a second and I couldn't believe what I was hearing so, as usual I asked, " Why ?" then he said " nothing.." I asked him several times again and the same answer kept coming out from his mouth . So I sat there, quietly . The atmosphere was just filled with silence and I couldn't take it anymore and I walked-off just like that . I didnt say anything , he asked me " hey, where are you going " I replied, " No where ". My voice was all weak and I almost cried as I made my way out of that ally . He chased after me and said, " hey, I was just joking." while laughing . I stopped and I was so mad . I mean, why would someone joke about that ? But I still love the guy so I just kept a good attitude and smiled . I was relieved though, but I still can't believe I felt for that! But at the end of the day, that always happens to me. Thats why I was so gullable at the time .
So yeah, the day went on with me being speechless thinking of how foolish I was to be " pranked " by my own boyfriend . Haha, its funny as I look back at it .

To Him :
Sekarang kamu tau la saya rase macam mane . Saya sayang awak tau ! Jangan nakal-2 nak gurau macam tuh ! Hehe , Love you dear ! :D

So thats it, thanks for reading ! Nite-2 !

14, Holidays, what a rip-off .

2011-12-04T04:43:00.000-08:00

Bonjour ! Its been awhile since I've updated le blog . It feels good to be back and writting again . I wouldn't have done it, if it wasn't for a special someone . So anyways, the topic today is about the holidays . Had a great holiday ? Really ? Well, you must be lying . Why ? Because to me, well to everyone the holidays of 2011 have been very, Boring .

Lets see, what have I done during the holidays . Lets list it down eh ?

- got sick
- family problems
- stayed home
- shopping
- hangout in the neighbourhood with some friends and such
- etc..

Wow, so exciting . Ok, ok . I'm wasting precious time here . My holidays were a-bit exciting . Other than exploring the area . I had a great time with the two special people in my life . Those people have made me very happy and they are the only people I can trust . Without them, I have nothing . If one of you are reading this then , I love you ! :)

Thats it for today I guess, nothing special . Maybe tomorrow i'll post something more exciting and interesting than today's post .

Thanks for reading ! Anyeong ! :)

13, Oh you better run and hide .

2011-11-06T07:42:00.000-08:00

Hello stalkers, strangers and earthlings who I adore !
Lemme tell you something, the picture ? Yeah, there's a liar on the loose ! I never thought that this person would do this/that to so many people and not just me ! Boy, oh boy this person is in for a fist sandwich ! Its shocking, that we were all stupid enough to believe this particular person, including me ! Now, i feel like a total dumb ass ! Thanks a lot, liar ! Stupid bit*h !

This is why you should never trust anyone . Why ? Look at the facts ! There are so many fake people around us ! Just lurking around and looking for attention . I know calling people fake doesn't make me real, but its a fact ! I'm not judging either !

Well, if you're reading this then I would like to say that, I know what YOU've been up to . I know all the LIES you told us . I KNOW EVERYTHING . How ? Well, with a little asking of course . Get a life will ya' ? Or at least CHANGE . Change you're bad ways, there's always a second chance . Don't make me go after you, I really don't want to . I hate doing all this . But this is a warning . I can't take you're lies anymore ! Its too painful ! By the way, WE AIN'T YOU'RE PUPPETS .

Hm, who would have thought huh ?
Thanks for reading, bye !
--
Rina

12, Just shoot me .

2011-11-05T08:53:00.000-07:00

I totally hate myself right now . Its like, nothing is turning out as planed . Literally nothing .I was suppose to go out today but that didn't work out either 'cause of the bad weather and the stubborn mother I have . People just don't understand that being me can make you want to kill yourself, NOT joking . Its like, being in a cage after so many years and then just as you get your freedom, you get forced in the cage again . I hate myself, my life and I just want to hit something . I hit things to release my anger . It may sound stupid but it works, once I was so angry, I tipped a few tables over . It may sound crazy but my anger has a limit . No one has seen the highest of that limit, Yet .

So with the bad weather and all nothing worked out and I feel like total crap . Here's what happened today,

It was about 3 and it started to rain heavily . As usual, I turn off the computer and headed straight to my room . As I reached my bed I just feel like a log . Then, I picked up my phone and called Him . I asked him and said, " What if it rains ? " then he replied with an oh-so gentle and soothing voice, " Its not going to rain, I'm sure of it " . I exhaled a sigh and with full of trust I just said goodbye and hung up the phone . I felt so guilty since I just hung up like that, and he got cut off . I just layed there for a moment with such guilt until my phone rang, I got a text from him saying, Its not going to rain dear, and if it does than we meet tomorrow. I smiled reading it .
After I was done texting him for a little while, I just decided to lay on my bed like a dead man, hugging my pillow and looking out the window and thinking what a douche I was and how he deserves better . Tears fell from my eyes and landed on my soft pillow . As you all know, I'm a total cry-baby . Don't judge me .
Then as the thunder got louder I just curled up with my pillow covering my face just closed my eyes that was dried up from the tears and slowly fell asleep . I woke up at about 4.50 and saw that it was kind-of raining and the sound of thunder was still there making me scared as a little kitten stuck in a tree . I asked my mother if I could maybe go out and of course she said, No and she said it with a very firm tone .
After getting that firm answer, I texted him saying I couldn't go and meet him . He asked why and I told him . Then he suggested to meet up at 5.30 and with the thought that the rain and thunder would stop, I said yes .
As time passed by, the rain stopped but there was still a bit of thunder . I looked at the time and saw that it was almost 5.30, I straight away asked for my mother's permission and she said again," No ", firmly . Then i answered, " But its not raining anymor- " and before I could finish my sentence she said, " NO ! " and without further actions I barged to the living room of my house and told him that I couldnt go do to my stubborn mother . I could say he was disappointed . But it was my fault since, I was such a douche to him .
I felt really sad the whole entire day, I kept thinking that, he does deserve better than me . I have to admit that I am the worse person to have ever existed ! Even though I don't mean to hurt him but I', seriously such-a-douche ! I really wanted someone to just shoot me or just hit me with a chair . I felt the guilt on my shoulders and it was bringing me and my personality down . I really wanted to tear up but I took a deep breathe and just deal with it .

The rest, I am not going to write because it's too painful . That's the end of my day . Horrible I know . But, karma tells everything and I guess my karma today wasn't as good as the day before .
--
Rina

11, I just wanna cry .

2011-11-04T06:53:00.000-07:00

Oh, hey . I just wanted to say that I'm so depressed somehow . Its all so confusing and the only thing I can do is just cry . Crying to me is not a sign of weakness, it could be many things . Maybe you've just been strong for too long or maybe its because you're under too much pressure and it just comes out naturally . Crying, is good at times . It lets your heart feel much better somehow .

Yes, I do cry a lot . Sometimes its because I feel so much pressure about the things going on in my life . Its too much . Sometimes, things that people say make me cry because it touches my heart till the very end . People may think, "Oh she's faking, or she just wants attention ". Well, if you think so then bug off, you have no idea what im feeling . You may now my name but not my story so watch it .

You know what ? Tomorrow or maybe on monday, i'm going to go find a mountain, and scream till the top of my lungs . Yeah, thats what I should do, just scream all the things that I want to get off my chest . I wonder how that'll turn out . So, I guess thats it . I'm off to go cool down a bit .

Thanks for reading . :)

10, Well atleast someone likes my blog .

2011-11-03T07:11:00.000-07:00

Hello, again . Well, apparently . Someone loves my blog and asked me if I could write again . So, of course I had to say yes . Another reason is because, dude, he's my boyfiee ! Haha ! Its kinda embarrassing to have Him read my blog because, most of the time, he's included in my post's ! :)

Anyways, from my recent post you may know that I just finished my finals ! Which means its time to, skip school ! Wohoo ! I don't encourage doing this though but since I'm finished with my school syllabus and the teachers don't give a damn about us anymore, we can do whatever we want ! :D

My school may seem, awesome and care-free but it's still a hell hole . I mean, one of my teachers even brags about her stupid husband and she loves showing of her stupid touch-screen phone and i'm like, I think my friends grandma has a better phone than you ! Show off ! Also, another one of my teachers which I truly hate, a.k.a the math teacher seems to have a hobby of pissing me off . Yes, she annoys the crap outta me ! But, no worries, I always take revenge by just doing the things she dislikes, like acting blur in class, asking alot of questions, being rude, etc . When I say being rude, I don't mean like shouting at her or anything I just dont talk to her like she's a teacher I talk to her like she's one of my enemies, no energy, no respect . Puii !

Can't wait for the holidays, I mean seriously ! I need my freedom bebeh ! Okay, that sounded wrong in so many ways . I have so many plans but I don't have much friends to go out with . I sound like a total loner right ? 'Cause I am one ! Cehh, joking . Well, I do have my best buds that love to annoy me on purpose, oh they are so lovable !

Before I say anything else I'll be skipping topics alot here so bare with me .

Oh man can't wait to get an electrical guitar ! Yes, I play the guitar . Its sounds make me so happy when I'm sad and I absolutely love making stupid songs while waiting for something to finish or start . Its fun should join me someday, Jam with meh ! Not jam as in strawberry jam but Jam as in, play together I guess .

You know what ? I need you're oppinion, should I dress more lets say, girly ? Eww, iyek ! I hate those kinda stuff but really, should I ? I'm always into this kinda rock, casual kinda things and I think I wanna try something new, something out of my style . Should I ? Tell me ? Please ? Now, I sound so despo . Desperado ~ *Forever Alone*

My eyes are getting tired and it feels like im going to black out like I always do . So, I guess I should save myself and get of the internet !
Thanks for reading !
--
Rina .

09, He just made my day ♡

2011-11-03T05:56:00.000-07:00

Hello dearest stalkers ! Today was pretty awesome . I mean, it feels like the time I finished my UPSR . But instead, this is BETTER ! Eeek ! Wanna know the story ? Well, lets start off with the ending of school finals .

School Finals,

Its the last day of finals and I'm super-duper excited, I mean, who wouldn't be excited ? Its finals la dude ! Anyways, as time passed by at school, I was so much closer to getting out of that hell hole of a school ! I practically didn't study the night before since, I was to excited to feel freedom, once again . So, the second our G-shock watches went, " click, click " ~~okay so i dont know how to describe the sound of a digital watch k~~ we all shouted, " MERDEKA " from the top of our lungs, especially the guys from my class, ~~childish~~. Wohoo ! Exam dah habes bro ! :D

Now, for the juicy part of my day ! Boy, oh boy, did he really make my day . I miss him soo much though !

Time to meet the boyfiee, :)

Its was a lovely day, the clouds were pouring of little drops of rain water . I couldn't wait to get out of the house has I had plans for the day and by plans I mean, to finally meet Him again ! After almost a month of not seeing each other, missing Him started becoming a hobby to me . In a good way . Then, as I checked the time on my cell, I decided to get ready and just dress up casually like I always do, with my blue skinny's and a t-shirt that says," Trick-or-treat ". After that, I went out of the house, taking a huge breathe of the fresh, cool air . A few minutes later, I reached the place where I was suppose to meet him, No, it wasn't our normal place because of several reasons which i'm not going to say or write about .
As I waited for him, I heard footsteps and then before I knew it, It was Him ! I was practically jumping in joy inside ! But, I kept my cool and just went with the flow . So we sat down near behind an empty shop lot, I felt safe just sitting beside him since the place WAS pretty freaky . As we talked, He decided to get some ice-cream . So, as usual, I followed him to the store . I didn't want ice-cream though, Its hard to resist but, I am so not going to ruin my diet ! Before we reached the store, I couldn't take it anymore . I called him and just hugged him right away, I missed him too much to not give him a hug ! He was pretty quiet after that which was funny in a way .
So, he bought his ice-cream and we took a long walk towards the place we sat down earlier . There was silence most of the time, maybe its because of the awkwardness or maybe its because there's literally nothing much to talk about . But i didn't care that much, his presence made me happy . Even though there are times when its just silence between us, I still feel happy . I guess its just something you feel when you're with the person you love the most .
/ Man this is long.. I feel like I'm writting a novel or something.. /
It was 5 and he suggested he should send me to my bestie's shop to just hangout there . ~~Okay, I left out some stuff, I don't want people to get bored !~~ I agreed and then He left to go get his motorcycle and as he was gone, I actually felt scared, weak, useless and sad . I never felt all of those at the same time before . A few minutes later, he arrived with his motorcycle and before I went on his bike, he got off and well, you know what happened ;) Then, I hopped on and he took me there .

Well, its not over yet but its too much to write so I'll just say that, he also gave me a ride back home and before I left, I gave him a little something and left him smiling . I have to admit, I left smiling too . :)

So thats pretty much it about my beautiful day . :)
Will write soon, thanks for reading !
--
Rina

08, Another day another story

2011-10-28T00:27:00.000-07:00

Hello dear stalkers ! Like my cat ? Cehh, this cat isn't mine actually but isn't it adorable ?! I could just die ! Eeek ! Okay, as some of you know I'm "afraid" of cats . Its not like I hate them or anything but I'm just scared they might scratch my face or kill me with their mighty sharp claws . I adore them, really, I do . But sometimes they can be really mean . :(

Do you guys like cats ? I do, I like dogs too . I have two of em' by the way . I want a this cat !

Its so fluffy im gonna die ! :3

Anyways, i'm so off topic today but all I want to do is talk about cats, write about them, take pictures of them, hug them, and maybe play with them . But the problem is.. I DONT SEE A CAT ANYWHERE ! My neighbourhood is full of dogs . But who cares ? The more dogs, the more safer . I think I should stop now, before someone barge's in my room or something .

Thanks for reading ! :)
--
Rina

07, Long time no blog .

2011-10-26T23:05:00.000-07:00

Hello my dearest stalkers ! Its been like a month since I've updated my blog . The reason for my in-existence is because I was and is getting ready for my up coming finals which is next week ! Wish me luck will ya' ? Another reason why I haven't been updating is because I'm too lazy . Its not easy trying to write something on the blog every time since nothing much has been going on in life lately . So, in conclusion, I apologize .

Anyways, I miss blogging here ! I've had the most awesome experience blogging here as I've improved my editing skills, my vocabulary and many many more . Not to forget my followers that have inspired me to blog even more than I did before and I thank you all . Wow, I'm practically writing a speech here.. I should stop . x]

So thats it, short, I know . Thanks for reading ! :)
--
Rina

06, Yesterday was a fairy-tale ♡

2011-10-03T23:51:00.000-07:00

Hello blogger ~ ♥
Wow, yesterday was literally like the best day ever ! Well, the day might have started a little bit rusty but then after meeting him.. I couldn't stop smiling till this very moment . It's been a really long time since I've felt like this . Eeek ! It's like eventhough its only a text from him, it still makes me so happy after that " insident " .

You may be confused since I'm not explaining anything . Haha, I know . So sorry for your confusion . Okay, let me explain from the start,

There I was, sitting on the couch like a couch potato watching television . Suddenly, recieved a text from Him asking me to meet him at usual time and place which is at the park, at 5 . So, since I wasn't doing anything I ofcourse said yes, even if I was busy, I would still go . Anything for my boo . :) Back to the story, So at 5 I went to the park while my sister was walking the dog .
When I reached the park he was there already as usual, but at that time the grass was wet, the playground was wet except the slide platform, so I walked towards him and as I stood beside him, He grabbed my hand and brought me to dry place to sit ( the slide platform ) . That was really sweet of him, a true gent eh ? ;) I blushed and denied to take a seat since it isn't fair for him to stand while I'm sitting down . So, since I didn't seat he, took my place and sat there..after awhile, he offered me to sit down once again and this time I did sit .
After awhile, he sat behind me . We talked and talked for the past hour, mann, that was long, haha didnt even notice. So time passed, and it was time to go home, as I was about to leave he grabbed me and gave me something that was very unexpected . I was so shocked that everything I was thinking of just went B L A N K . I then said my goodbyes and left smiling and couldn't believe that it actually happened to me .

There, I told you my story . LOL, I think I would be a good author for a book right ? Tell me what you think In the Tagboard ! Just click the letter " of " at the nav bar which says, questions of the heart . :)

I think thats all the time I have for now . Thanks for reading !
Love you guys ! Bye .
--
Rina

05, People .

2011-10-02T22:09:00.000-07:00

Hello my dearest stalkers !
Heee, thinking about yesterday gets me all mushed up ! Haha, eek ! :D
Anyways, I've been thinking about all the people in this world and how mean, selfish & awful they can be . Yes, I'm quite the negative one .

Back to what I was saying, so I have this " friend " and she's the type that lies alot, arrogant and she seems to love bringing down my self-esteem ( she doesn't even know it ! ) .

What get's me mad the most is, she pisses people off without her even knowing it ! I mean, even when she does something wrong, she doesn't apologize . Sometimes I don't even know why she's my friend . -,-"

How can people be like that ? I would be a hypocrite if I didn't say that I use to be like that too, minus the non-apologizing thing and the not-knowing-what-wrong-doing-i've-done . But, seriously, why lie ? why lower people's self-esteem ? why, is the question .

I think thats all for today, sorry for the LAME post . :]
Thanks for reading ! Kthnksbai .
--
Rina

04, Lovely day . ♥

2011-10-02T04:24:00.000-07:00

Hello dearest stalkers !
At this moment, I could just go to the highest mountain and scream till' my lungs run out of air . Why ? 'Cause, my day just turned from gloomy to a big bundle of happiness . :)
I just came back from my date with my boyfiee . Hee . I love that guy so much . :) At least I know that I can trust him and he also understands me a little better than my best friend, #shocker . Although the date was at an average empty park with mosquito's trying to eat me alive, I still felt really happy throughout the whole thing . He makes me feel safe whenever I'm around him . That's what I really love about him .

I love the hugs and kisses he gives me . It always cheers me up . *sigh*

" I wish you were here, " - Avril Lavigne

Anyways, I think thats all the time I have to blog today .
Thanks for reading ! Kbye .
--
Rina

03, School Break ( n_n )

2011-10-01T03:37:00.000-07:00

Finally ! Holidays ! Well, its not particularly a holiday since the Form 3 students have exams next week . But, since I'm a " freshmen " I get a break from the stress, the homework & the drama ! Awesome, I know ! I especially can't wait for this Tuesday . Why ? 'Cause, Me & a couple of my other friends are going out to Tutti Frutti ! :DD Yeah, it's probably not a big deal but, it's FROYO mann ! How can you NOT love it ?! But, do you know who doesn't love it ? Froyo Hata's ( frozen yogurt haters ) . But anyways, still can't wait to hang with the friends . :)

Hmm, these past few days have been really boring I gotta tell ya' . I've been trying to get my eyes off the computer screen since my eyes are getting really bad :[ . But what am I suppose to do when I can barely go out ? My friends are probably busy doing something, unlike me . ~~foreveralone~~
Also, I need to focus on my study's because after this week's break, there will be a final term exam and I really need to get good grades or I'm toast ! I don't want to be shifted to afternoon sessions ! D: #cryswithsarcasm

So, wish me goodluck and don't forget to give me your blessing's ! :)
Thats all for today, thanks for reading . Kbye .
-Rina

02, The 'math' teacher .

2011-09-22T06:03:00.000-07:00

Annyeonghaseyo ! :)
Okay, so last tuesday, I had maths and as we all know.. I HATE MATHS . Why ? Oh, i'll tell you why . First of all, math hates me . It makes my brain want to explode . Second, the teacher picks on me . ALOT .

As I was saying, it was tuesday and I had math class so, I as usual didn't finish or bring my math homework . Then, teacher gave punishment as in she ' rotan ' my hand . Others felt pain, but I just put on my idontgiveashiet face and move on with it . I mean, I think I was the only one who was so relaxed when she did that . No expression at all . Btw, I'm not proud so, jangan nak kata aku nieh belagak .

Then, as class was being held, she gave the talk and compared us to form 3 people, yada yada yada and all that crap . After awhile she started to perli me . If you dont know what perli means, it means like a person is.. uhh.. go ask someone la . Idk how to explain . Yeh, I'mma noob . Anyways, and thats when my mood really changed . From I dont care to, watafak la . I mean, she always picks on me when i'm blur, when I ask her a question she goes all gorilla on me then what should I do ? Get out of your class ? I would be glad to .

My concept is, I will be nice to you if you're nice to me . But when you're mean and you take it over the top, above my patience.. then i will not respect you no more . So maklum la semua . So yeah, thats pretty much it for today .

Thanks for reading ! :)
--
-Rina